Boys will be boys!
…and girls just wanna have fun, right? NOPE. Girls want an education, girls want to have the right of freedom, the same opportunities, the choice of making their own decisions. And yes, maybe some fun too – after all, who doesn’t?
During placement we could tell the difference in maturity levels between boys and girls by how they acted, and although it is true that females tend to mature earlier than males generally I don’t believe that this was the only factor for these young girls maturing so fast. I’d see boys of all ages playing outside, but girls – not so much. I even saw girls as young as 4 helping out with household chores whilst the boys would play hours on end. And in the evenings the boys from the local youth group would get together to play a popular South Asian board game called “Carrom Board” and just hang out together. But in the three months that I lived there, not one single girl would stay behind and play, or socialise. And this was because in Bangladesh (probably more the rural villages) girls aren’t allowed out in the dark.
This also affected our workshops. If people arrived late and it delayed the timing of our workshop, the girls in the youth group would panic saying that they had to leave early in order to get home before dark. And bear in mind this wasn’t just young girls, our youth groups involved people up to the age of 25. And what some people may not realise is that this rule also applied to us whilst we were there. As part of integrating into the community we had to abide by their rules.
Having come from a country where I have been lucky enough to have so much freedom, it made me appreciate it so much more than I ever have. What I didn’t understand, was that the rhetoric said it was unsafe for women to be out after dark. But perhaps if the emphasis was on men to act with respect towards women, instead of posing a threat, then this wouldn’t be an issue.
“Stress, anxiety and depression are caused when we are living to please others.” – Paulo Coelho
Here is an overview of some of the issues faced in Bangladesh by women:
- The dowry system – when a girls family needs to pay (or gift) the family of the boy she is to marry. If a brides family is unable to pay the dowry the bride is often punished in the form of domestic violence.
- Early marriage rates in Bangladesh are one of the highest in the world with 71% of girls in rural areas being married before the age of 18.
- And finally, teenage pregnancy.
I had an interaction with a girl – 18 years old, whom I can’t name. She wanted to go to university but said there wasn’t any point as her parents had her married off. This girl was extremely intelligent and told me as though it was normal. Her dreams were quashed because she had been taught that all she is good for is to be someone’s wife and someone’s mother. It really saddened me to see someone so young and with so much potential miss opportunities that could have been hers for the taking.
“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” – Nelson Mandela.
I get that this has probably not been the happiest of reads, but reality isn’t always happy and I wanted to highlight that although I had an amazing experience on my ICS placement – the reality of it was shocking and emotional to say the least. But, I feel empowered to help form a positive change for women and girls around the world.
And on that note, I’d like to finish by sharing a famous quote by G.D. Anderson that I believe concludes my points better than I could in my own words;
“Feminism isn’t about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength.”